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Talk to me like a brother…

By Ronald Crampton posted 02-23-2015 12:46 PM

  

Talk to me like a brother…? I have been pondering this statement for many days now… Talk to me like a brother… What does this mean to you…? What does this mean to me…?

At DU, Professor Faragher once said that Counseling Psychology is not talking to your neighbor, or your friend, or your family: Counseling Psychology… Is talking to a professional... This statement lead me to an understanding of why I often disagree with the psychology profession. When I sought counseling as a client I highly disliked the psychologist talking to me from a textbook and telling me psychological ideas when it was obvious the psychologist was not living what they were preaching. I sought counseling to discover a way of life, but I seldom receive anything other than a book of scripted words. When did psychology become just a book; just a script of words; just a profession …? I always thought of psychology as learning how we live… Thus, I pursued psychology (the study of the mind) to learn about the psychology of living... Granted I need to know the script to get a license to work in the profession of psychology, but my knowledge of psychology was meant for a way of life – Not a job…

I was in an intense situation a while ago when an individual said I was a bad counselor. It was apparent to this individual that I was not giving the expected level of compassion. I pondered my understanding of the situation: An unpleasant choice had to be made. I seek to live the psychology I know and thus I seek rational over emotional. Not rational INSTEAD of emotional, but OVER… I seek to be governed by the understanding of empathy more than the pain of shared sympathy and/or suffered compassion. Now in all choices there is at least a minimum of two options; as was such in this case; and in an unpleasant choice… Neither is ideal… In a group of individuals it is a common expectation that there will be at least one individual who will swing to the extreme of one option; there will be at least one other who will swing to the extreme of the other option; and the remainder will hopefully collaborate in the middle. I believe I was in the middle… Part of me wants to shake my fists and cry havoc…! How do people collaborate grief when they are all immersed in grief…? Damn it…! How can anyone expect me to be a counselor when my heart is also being ripped out…! But… There in itself lies the rub… For me… Psychology is meant to be a way of life… The only way that should be expected of me by anyone including me, is the way of me…

What does it mean to talk to me like a brother…? My professor would say that talking like a brother would not be counseling: Would not be psychology… Psychology however, is me… Just as a brother is me… Thus as a brother I talk like a counselor and as a counselor… I talk like a brother…

I am an odd duck, but I am not as of yet a monk on a mountain. I do not intend to be a monk on a mountain until I have achieved my adventure of learning and living my way of life… Until then I will stumble; I will fall; I will make mistakes; but I will learn how to talk how I live… And I will talk and I will counsel… As me…

Collaborative Topic: In any situation… How do you talk…?

I encourage you to reply…

Thank you,

Ronald E. Crampton, MA, LAC, LPC

AV TREATMENT SERVICES, LLC

13791 East Rice Place, Suite 104

Aurora, CO 80015

(720) 250-8432

Email: recrampton@avtreatment.com

Website: http://avtreatment.com
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