Metacommunication is the ability to convey language using both verbal and non-verbal skills. Those skills include nuances about individual's way of conveying messages to us about what they are saying directly as well as indirectly. However, as a multicultural woman, who is also a person with a disability. I have learned to trust my gut as well as rely on skills of metacommunication as a sixth sense. It has seldom failed me, and it has reinforced in several situations that non-verbal communication is tremendously powerful, and serves as a powerful tell even when words say that to the contrary. During an interview for an alternative practicum site, I met with two prospective employers. One whom although appeared inclusive in word, her initial eyeball view of me and body language was visibly cold, and standoffish. Her body tensed up the moment she saw me and she was unsure how to react to me. It was obvious that she was thrown off by something, what she was unsure of. Could it be she was trying to ascertain my complexion? My speech? A plethora of different things? Who knows? I smiled, and reached out my hand for a handshake. She apologized for being late. I said "No worries". The interview began and all seemed well on the surface. However, she was shifty and by that I mean, she literally could not sit still. She moved to her office to check for something and the general vibe of the interview was off. She eventually settled in front of me to begin the interview process. I could tell immediately that I would not be getting this internship. She could barely get the words out. She fumbled throughout the interview and it was painstakingly obvious that we did not connect. She asked the usual questions, about the population I was comfortable with, my education backgroun, but there was no interest in me, the candidate for the job. There was something about me, she did not connect with. My ecclectic theories, perhaps. However, she did not know about my ecclectic theory when I walked in. When she looked me over from the doorway, she did not like what she saw, and my metacommunication skills told me, that it was on that basis she decided not to hire me. I didn't hear from her initially, I emailed her to find out whether I received the position. It was only then that she responded saying I was not a good fit.
Prior to this, I had a previous interview with another site. Let's compare the differences.
I met the owner who was on time for the appointment. The eye contact was great, and she asked if she could hug me. I said yes. My metacommunication skills detected no ill-will, just normal tentative interviewing space which is to be expected between all interviewers and interviewees. The interviewer explained that she was moving offices and apologized for the temporary location. We sat down and the interview began. There was good eye-contact, sincere interest in what led me to counseling. A sincere back-and-forth of the counseling process, types of counseling population and any past counseling experience including my ecclectic approach. She sat reasonably close to me as she was moving and the furniture was limited so this gave her some choice with where and how she was going to sit. She could have chosen to sit far away from me, like the previous interviewer, However, she chose to ask me where I would like to sit. She told me there and then what type of hours she could accommodate me with and what private practice demands were like. Like the previous interviewer, I self-disclosed my disability, and she said that's not a problem. Unlike the previous employer who seemed uncomfortable with my disability, and who made a veiled attempt at being concerned. The interviewer also stated that I could make my own hours and stated that I would need to let her know when I would start. I knew then, that I had found the right practicum and supervisor for me.
Cautions/Notes
It is normal to experience different feelings when faced with someone who is differently abled or appears physically different from you, and that's okay. It's okay to be uncomfortable with someone who looks or behaves different than you, that's okay. It is not okay, however, to dismiss someone based on the idea that their presentation of themselves is in conflict with your values simply because they appear different than you. If you are a person with a disability particularly one that might be an invisible disability, you do not need to self-disclose to your employer or interviewer. I self-disclosed because of the part-time hours I would need to work. I recommend that everyone educates themselves with the American Disability Act, and the Implicit Association Test.